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  • Writer's pictureNatalieO93

21st Century Dating


Love letters on the wall of Juliet's Courtyard - Verona

Firstly lets get straight to the point...it sucks. When I think about how dating was for the generations before us, I'm envious...like really envious. I can't speak for everyone, only the experiences I know about, but it seems like you would go out maybe with friends or even while you were at work and if someone liked you, they would approach you and tell you, there and then. After that you would probably go on a date, a bit of courting would happen or even some letter writing and then you would decide if you were a right fit for each other, or if it wasn't going to work out, you'd tell them and just go your separate ways. (Of course I'm over simplifying it, but you get the point!)


Nowadays, oh no. It's so much more complicated than that. If you happen to meet someone while you're out and about (which in itself is unlikely), chances are they will like you and never say anything to you, or vice versa. Whether this is due to an assumption they are taken, or you're unsure of their sexuality, or maybe even just down to confidence because of the s**t storm of social media and society in general. Most of the time it won't even happen like that though. Instead we will be sat behind a screen somewhere or on some crappy dating app, which is filled with either catfish, people just looking to be laid, or a potential ghost (someone you think you get along with and then one day they just disappear...poof!). We are so wrapped up on technology that human interaction seems to be a thing of a past, we text, we Facebook message, we snapchat, we DM...all through our phones. It wouldn't surprise me if before long we send robots out with our 'personalities' built into them to try and look for a 'suitable' partner. Of course this seems very mechanic...but isn't what we are doing now also somewhat mechanic?


Another thing that annoys me nowadays, is that if you do manage to find someone you like and have a connection with, it still doesn't work out. That's normally down to timing. "Sorry, I'm just not looking for/ready for a relationship right now" or "Sorry I'm focusing on work right now" or even "Sorry, I really like you but my life is just too complicated". I think as a generation, we are too quick to give up on potential relationships, and are so ready to offer up excuses. Either that or too afraid of missing out on other opportunities when really the two could go hand in hand given the chance. I think we are also too lazy to put the effort in to make it work, or to take a chance on something that might be worth it in the long run.


I mean of course fair enough if the two people really don't work together, and especially if it is a poisonous relationship. Call it quits. Or even if you literally just want to do the single thing and 'shop around', fair enough, you do you, and at least be honest about it, instead of giving the other person hope that one day it could happen. But if not, come on! Give it a go at least! If there is any chance that it could be worth while, if you genuinely like the person. Otherwise you might regret it! It seems like a good relationship or connection doesn't come around too often. Not to mention if we do leave it down to timing...when it is the right time for one person, you can be damn sure that the other person has probably moved on by that time, are in their own 'complicated' situation or have even moved country. That's just the way it is.


The main point I'm making is dating sucks. Yes people are getting married later, having kids later, focusing on careers, which is great...empowering even. But I am still envious of how things used to be. Because dating right now is confusing, it's tricky, impersonal and sometimes even impossible.

 
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